Monday, November 3, 2014
Defining Moments--J. Keller
Of the few defining moments in my life, two come to my mind prominently; my father and mother’s marriage and my adoption into the Keller household. Defining moments often shape who we are, our future, and how we respond to events further on down the road of life. There are both good and bad moments, producing positive and negative results, but what you do with those results is up to you. You can either choose to learn from the negative, or allow it to rend you limb from limb. Positive events almost always produce positive results, but you can allow even those to infect your brain with a sort of mightier-than-thou attitude. To be blunt, defining moments are our story; let it shape you into who you are meant to be.
When my parents first met, I was being babysat by my grandmother, but I’m sure their first meeting went great. They are married after all. I was a tender three when it happened, and having lived a life with a hard-working mother and father who was never around, knew nothing about a happy normal home. To be correct, I knew nothing about a happy home; separation among parents is normal. Although I was young, I remember holding my mother’s hand as she walked, and watching as tears of joy ran down her face. Up until that point, I had been the only man who had ever consistently been there for her; I didn’t have a choice in the matter, but I would have stayed even if I had. However now I was able to see what love and sacrifice were really about. My father took my mother and I in, even with her tattered past and my abandonment from my “sperm donor dad”. This was love, and sacrifice at its purest. Something I still haven’t forgotten.
Secondly came my adoption, and that almost seven years later. How I would love to tell you of a perfect life, but those aren’t real or true, and frankly quite boring. My parents fought like any other, I bowed my head to anger often, and hated the air that often clogged our home. Yet, my parents pushed through, and I believe that it was a small defining moments in itself. When I was ten my parents approached me with talk of adoption, in fact I was the only member or the then household of five to still have the name Rice. Keller, I thought, was better because everyone else had it. My mother hadn’t let the conversation happen until I was ten, as she feared things between her and my soon to be adopted dad may not work out. Thankfully she was wrong, and today I proudly hold the title Keller. This moment exuded love, and the tears that ran down my face in genuine bliss after the process had finally been completed couldn’t have been truer. I knew then that this man, who had married my mother, wouldn’t leave me like my other father. But instead would stand by my side, and teach my things every man needs to know.
These seemingly insignificant examples of defining moments changed my life, for the better a thousand times over. Up until then I had received multiple negative ones, and I still have work to do on my heart from the scars in my past. However the blessings of those two defining moments have changed my forever. I am a man because of those two events, because without them, I wouldn’t have a father; without a father, who can learn to be a man?